Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Good Head, Bad Head

Hello and welcome to this edition of Decorating With Heads. 

I'm basking in the icy blue glow of my computer screen to show you just how amazing I am at decorating. Some day, I'll take you on a real fancy tour but tonight I'm doing this shiz from my couch. 

did you think that was my middle finger? did you?! how DARE you.

That disembodied dummy head there (not mine, the one I'm pointing at) has been in that very same spot since I got these shelves, years ago. 

Why do I own it? I don't f*$king know. 

Oh, and the books next to it have been tilted like that since at least January. Clearly, it's a profesh style choice. I believe it adds a bit of drama to the head and speaks to its existential struggle. Or something. 

Now, what's that we have on the next shelf? Why it's another head! Holy bananas, that's two already and we've barely glanced the room. And this one's holding up a vintage copy of The Exorcist. So, perhaps it should really be resting on a Lazy Susan. 

So, why on earth do I have two heads greeting visitors immediately as they walk in the door? That is an incredibly valid question. Unfortunately, I have no answer for it. And there are at least seventeen thousand other heads floating around my house, wondering where their bodies have gone. 

The sad(der) part? I secretly love them and can't bring myself to give them away. 

Yet. Baby steps.  

Also on those shelves up there, you'll see that we have a toy dinosaur which has been expertly pre-chewed by Gertie. She has issues. 

And, what's that? Yes, there are STILL Christmas trees sitting on the next shelf, just crammed in amongst all the tchotchkes you can throw a stick at. I just really love to keep the holiday spirit alive all year long. 

It's also my homage to the show Hoarders. 

Once my leg is a bit better, I believe it *might* be time to make some serious edits. I don't even know where most of this stuff came from or how it managed to find a permanent home on my living room bookshelf for all the world to see. 

Sadly, I just can't bring myself to enjoy anything I find at Target for long. Clearly, I need therapy. 

In the meantime, it would be my pleasure to use my skills to make your house shimmer like f*@king gold. Now that you've seen what I can do with nothing more than a few heads and a handful of crap, who wants to book me for a consultation? 

I'm cheap-cheap, fun-fun. 

keep trying, kiddos. 

Ps. Comment with your awesome interior design tips or to let me know how you think decorating with heads could improve your home...and life. 

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