Wednesday, November 13, 2013

You Can't Hide Those Crazy Eyes

Why, oh WHY doesn't anyone tell you when your eyebrows have gotten way, way out of hand?
Is it just me or does anyone else go to bed with some perfectly respectable bilateral symmetry and wake up mere hours later looking like Captain Kangaroo? 

What can be done to prevent this furry phenomenon?

Socially, I realize that it could be super awkward to open up the door to critiquing one another's depilatory habits - or lack thereof. But social convention once dictated that it was in bad taste to tell someone they had something in their teeth. Was it not more offensive to allow a friend to walk around with a sprig of asparagus jutting from their chompers? I'm so glad some brave ladies and gents managed to pave inroads on that front. True revolutionaries, those.

So, starting today (just like the Gorilla Biscuits intended) I'd like to formally invite any and all of you to go right ahead and alert me whenever my brows appear to be creeping off my face like a cartoon caterpillar.

For those of you with meticulously manicured orbital regions, what's your secret? My supercillium could use some more regular wrangling and I'd love to know how to head the caterpillar army off at the pass.

Oooh. We should totally form a club. The Sopracciglio Society, perhaps?  I dunno. You can name it. Just please tell me when my eyebrows enter the room before I do.

Now, who wants to draft the manifesto?




  1. The women in my family have a pact to alert one another if the goat hair (chin hair) makes an appearance. My daughter has already promised to pluck me in the nursing home.

    1. I knew I should've had kids! Who'll pluck me?

  2. I told someone last night that Slim Goodbody was my spirit animal. Yeah, I am seriously lacking on my depilatory routine. Are you judgy mcjudgerson along with my lack of head decor?

    1. Head decor is not for the faint of heart. ;)


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